If you have followed my blog for more than just a day you are aware that over the past two weeks I have been patiently praying, worrying, and waiting for my dear friend J at A Kick to the Neck, to get healthy.  It has been an emotional ride as J went up and down and now finally last night she came back with  a bang.

I have only ever lost two people in my life, my great-grandmother and my grandpa. I was fond of my grandmother but not particularly close to her. My memory of her is of her in the kitchen making tortillas on her gas stove. Sitting at the table to eat Menudo, she intentionally not telling me what was in the soup and me loving it until I found out what I was eating.

My grandpa King was cool. I have vivid memories of sitting in his tiny kitchen at the table made for only two. The smell of grease wafting through the air as he fried up whatever his latest catch was he brought back from a Mexico fishing trip. I remember the old 70’s recliner chair he used to sit in and the abundance of stuff he collected that always seemed so intriguing to me as a kid.

At my grandmothers funeral, I was made to look at her in the coffin and to touch her hand. Her hand was cold and she was lifeless. I think I was about 10 or 11, maybe a little older.  I remember thinking how odd it was that people would want to remember her in that way. I knew I would never view another dead person. EVER.

At my grandfathers funeral, I did not want to remember him in that coffin. I sat in the back of the church quietly refusing to approach the front of the room where he was silently laying. I remember feeling very sad that he had passed away. I almost felt unjustified to show my feelings of grief and did my best to hide my tears.  I miss him still and think about him often.  I would have liked my son to know his great grandpa King.

Both of these deaths were when I was younger and I suppose somewhat expected as both were elderly. Until now, I have never been so close to losing someone.  I never believed that we would lose J but the fight was uncertain at times.

J first fell a sleep on January 18th. She woke one time, fell asleep again, then woke again. Although able to talk when she was awake she wasn’t quite herself. It didn’t matter, I knew she was there making her way back to us fully.

Prior to her falling asleep we spoke nearly everyday and exchange multiple emails throughout the day.  We shared everything. J helped heal my heart when I didn’t think it could be healed. She help me to see that there is life after love (go ahead do your best Cher impersonation now).

When someone who has made such an impact on your life is no long accessible to you it hurts. I cherished the moments that I got to hear her voice. My heart expanded when I heard her laugh again. My world was right again when she made me laugh. The calm humble words of a girl who has just fought her way back to life reminded me of the little things that we take for granted.

I know that in the coming days J will share more insight, more love, and a fresh perspective on the things that really matter.

Welcome back J – I missed you!

Cheers!

If you are new to my blog here a few quick facts to catch you up me so the rest of this story makes sense.

1. I am gay. I have slowly been coming out over the past couple of years.

2. I am a single mother. Sperm donor is not involved- at all. His loss.

3. I am your typical suburban mother. President of the PTSO and football mom.

My coming out process has been nothing short of fantastic. Every person I have told has embraced me assuring me that they love me for me and not for who I love.  I started by telling a few close friends, then my mom, my sister, my brother & sister-in-law, and then a few more close friends.  With the exception of one group of friends, I reached a point that it didn’t matter who knew because I  already shared myself with the people I love the most.

The last group of people who I feared sharing this part of my life with were the PTSO moms. I mean, really, can you blame me? My reasons are valid. First of all, I should mention I live in a conservative town with a high population of Mormons & Catholics. Secondly, I had to take in to consideration the ramifications for my son if my personal life was not accepted. Kids can be cruel and I am very protective of my son, as any mom would be.

I immediately clicked with a few of the PTSO moms that live in my neighborhood. Our kids are about the same age, play the same sports, and the adults all enjoy a spontaneous Friday night driveway cocktail hour. It has been two years since I have circulated in this group. The only single mom, I had become a master at dodging questions about my personal life. In true Tammy fashion, when I felt the heat of having to give on a more personal level I would retreat. I declined various invitations and kept my distance.

Two weeks ago, I decided to attend a Bunco party, or as I like to call it — street craps for housewives,  at the home of one of the other moms. I felt safe because I knew there would be a diverse crowd which means only superficial conversation. The evening was a blast and included many drinks and many laughs.

As the night came to end, the last of the party goers were just the other PTSO moms. The conversation quickly focused on my personal. This was my signal to hit the road. I waited for a diversion then grabbed my purse and headed for the door. Before I knew it two of the other moms were walking with me arm in arm until they had me pinned in a corner. Suddenly they started firing questions at me faster than my brain could comprehend. “Who are you dating? – What’s his name? – How did you meet?”

The questions just kept coming. It was clear I would not be getting out of this easily. My defenses were down, suddenly I felt the words bubbling up on my tongue until finally I blurted out ” I AM GAY!”.  I winced for a moment expecting stones to be thrown. That’s when it happened, they all looked at each other and said…”Oh my god….we are so happy!!!”

Huh? What? Happy? Really? Seriously?

More wine was poured then over the next three hours I told my story.  They were happy to know that I wasn’t living as a recluse. It finally made sense to them why I retreated the way I did.  They embraced me in a way I had never expected them too.

For two years, I judged this group of women based on my own insecurities. Once I let my guard down I was able to see that all along I was afraid of being judged when actually I was the one judging them.

Next time, I will let the jury do the judging.

Cheers!

Her destiny includes me.

She is my perfection.

Her universe collides with mine.

She fills my world with butterflies & roses.

Her absence creates empty spaces in my soul.

She expands my heart with her presence.

Her life’s song is tangled in my essence.

She melts me with her melody.

Her anger will be unparalleled.

She will silently suffer.

Her heart will break and She will be lost.

I will have failed again.

Please take a moment to read this….

http://www.akicktotheneck.com/2010/02/03/a-new-beginning/

It traveled so far and took so long.

The bright yellow envelope like a ray of sunshine I have been missing.

Hands trembling afraid to break to the seal.

The first words drew tears like a knife draws blood.

The crooked handwriting forcing my eyes to clear.

So much has been written…so much that should have been said.

I didn’t need the letter to know but I am glad that you shared.

Embracing each line in hopes the pages never end.

For you my voice is my letter that I hope you will hear.

The words are the same the journey is not over.

This letter is the beginning.

My voice is your guide.

Lying silent oceans away your voice rings in my ear.

Your body is fighting but your spirit is strong.

Angels surround you but are not ready to take you.

Across the world hearts are giving you strength.

Love is transcending from our souls to yours.

In this life there is so much left for you to give and receive.

There is something inside me that knows you are still there.

Our hands are extended pulling you through.

This message is being sent for you to feel.

We beg that you hear our silent prayers.

Sitting in silence we wait your return.

My dear friend Janelle, A Kick to the Neck, is in the ICU due to a brain aneurysm. This post is dedicated to keeping her friends updated about her status.

Her friend H used to have access to her blog to post updates, which J would want, but we can’t access the site.  I am hoping to reach some readers that read both of our blogs.

Please pray for her, send her positive thoughts, love, and energy!

(Most current update listed first).

I apologize I have not posted the past couple of updates. This is the most recent. For the two other updates I did not post please visit Js site at A Kick to the Neck

UPDATE: January 30th (QLD)/January 29th (USA)

We are so very sorry we have not updated in the past couple of days. It seems that so much has happened so quickly.

Yesterday (Thursday Aussie time) Janelle had her brain surgery. It took 3 hours and 7 minutes – she did very well. She told the doctor before the surgery that if he killed her she would haunt him. Now that is our J – HA!

The tumor has been zapped. I am sorry that is not very technical but it is the best way I know how to explain. Although the tumor is dead she still has cancer cells therefore will continue treatment. HOWEVER, her cancer markers are way down. She will need to continue chemo treatment but it seems she could be very close to going into remission. **FINGERS & TOES CROSSED**

She had a minor seizure after the surgery however it was only a result of the swelling in her brain not related to the tumor or aneurysm. She should no longer have the seizures as the pressure in her brain reduces, as it is expected to do. The docs gave her a shot of steroids and although her head will hurt for a couple of weeks she will be fine.

To my surprise Janelle called me just a few hours after the surgery. Her eyes are going to bug out of her head when she sees her phone bill – she does not realize that I am so far away. When I tried to explain why I was not there she informed me that I could swim or take the bus. I had a giggle – although I do very much wish I could be there with her.

She is still struggling with some words. As she says, her words are stuck in her mouth. This will improve over the course of time as her brain continues to heal. Her memory & reasoning has not completely restored just yet. My conversations with her have been very specific as she reiterates why she fought hard to get better. She is very fond of my son and talks about him a lot. She specifically stated that she never gave up. She is happy to be alive. She has been very descriptive about certain things while she can’t quite remember others. I told her that hearing her voice made me smile and she said that she was smiling too on the inside. It made me happy to know that she is feeling some happiness in all of this.

The doctors will be watching her physical & cognitive skills closely. Again, her memory and reasoning skills will improve as the pressure in her brain reduces.

She let me know that she does not like eggs. When I asked her how she felt about chicken today she said she was not sure. Again I had a little giggle with her, she told me that she really wants gin, chocolate, and spinach.

She is expected to be flown back to Brisbane within the next day, given she continues the healing path that she is on.

She has a long road to recovery. I am not sure that she will be back blogging soon (she did not know that she had a blog when I mentioned it) however SHE IS ALIVE and she is a fighter. I have no doubt she will do wonderfully with recovery and be back blogging & twittering in no time.

Thank you again to everyone that has supported J during this time. I know there are many who have never met J or had an opportunity to get to know her, but as the doctor stated…She has many angels on her side…I believe those angels are everyone who has been sending prayers, love, and strength her way.

Hayley and I will continue to keep you posted until J is able to do so herself.

Thank you again for supporting such a wonderful courageous person!

Tammy

UPDATE: Monday, January 25th, 5 pm (AUS), Sunday, January 24th Midnight (USA)

This update will go back a couple of days then bring us current to the time posted on this update.

Saturday (or Sunday depending on your location), Janelle woke up mumbled a few words then fell back asleep. During that time she began bleeding from her ears which indicated that something ruptured in her brain. She was immediately taken to surgery. During the 3 hour 10 minute procedure the doctors where able to stop the bleeding my inserting a balloon in the artery.

In recovery she was on a breathing machine. Early this morning she began coughing and breathing on her own so the docs took her off the ventilator. A short time after that during one of her routine checkups she woke up; asking for a chicken sandwich no less.

After the docs ran the first batch of tests Hayley was allowed to see her. Janelle responded positively & remembered who H was and who I am however she did not remember Lexie, Buffy or the fact that she is a vegan (she really enjoyed the chicken sandwich – ha!)

Janelle expressed that she was tired and wanted to rest. The nurses said NO WAY! She ended up falling asleep but the nurses were waking her every hour with ease. Her speech is slow and she has problems putting together words. The good news is her cancer markers have dropped to the lowest they have ever been, her nervous system appears to be good, and her reflexes are good.

Test results show that the headache J is complaining about is a result of cranial pressure and she is at high risk of stroke. Currently she has a 70% chance of having a stroke that she would not recover from (I won’t say or type the word but you know what I mean).

Brain scans show two parts of her brain that have fluid build up causing her to not recognize words, problems with speech, memory, and her vision.

To reduce the risk of permanent damage to her memory, speech, and chance of a stroke the doctors will be performing a procedure at 6 pm QLD time. The procedure will involve putting J in an induced coma, lowering her body temperature for 3-4 hours then slowly raising it again and bringing her out of the coma. This procedure will reduce the pressure in her brain and lower the chances of a stoke to under 10%. She will not be in pain during this procedure. The procedure will not fix the problem immediately but a huge improvement will be seen within 24 hours if it works.

Prior to all of this happening, as you know J was scheduled to have brain surgery in March to have her tumor removed. She is now on the top of that list. The doctors are merely waiting for her now. If this procedure works, she will be flown immediately to Sydney for the brain surgery.

Janelle has fought back hard against cancer and during the last 5 days. The prayers and love of her friends, strangers, and acquaintances has helped tremendously.

She has more fighting to do, Hayley & I, ask that you continue to pray and send love her way. It will be later this evening or early next morning before we have anymore updates.

We are so very happy that J woke up today now we are ready for the next stage of this fight.

I ask that you also send your positive energy to Hayley. She will have the longest 4-5 hours in that hospital waiting while J undergoes this procedure.

Thank you!

Monday, January 25th (AUS) 10:00 am/Sunday January 24th (USA) 5:oo pm

JANELLE IS AWAKE!!! Hayley and I were just working on the update from this weekend when she was paged back to J’s room and received the news that she is awake. Our vegan girl is awake and asking for a chicken sandwich. HA! The docs are with her currently running some tests. Hayley will get to go in to see her shortly!

Thank you everyone for all your prayers & love. We will keep you posted!!!

Saturday, January 23th (AUS)

(As you can imagine Hayley is exhausted so she has asked me to make this update for her. This is a combination of words from Hayley & my own.)

J has not woken up again since yesterday. She is breathing on her own but needs to wake up!

They want her to be completely conscious like yesterday!

If she is conscious and stable by Monday they are flying her to Sydney to have the tumor in her brain operated on Tuesday. Then they will fly her back to hospital here the day after. (This procedure was scheduled for March so this could be good for J since she has special b-day plans!)

She needs to be awake for it though because the nurse was explaining that patients are AWAKE during the procedure. That’s how they tell if the procedure is going well.

Her sister gave consent for the operation today but when J wakes up she can override it if she doesn’t want it to go ahead. (However, she had reconciled already that she wanted to move forward with the procedure so I would think she would give the ok.) They think that by doing it now she will have greater chance of recovery from cancer plus it decreases the risk of any more seizures or aneurysms.

Her artery is holding up well and blood is flowing easily. They’ve got a bunch of things attached to her head monitoring everything inside her head on this really cool LCD screen. She’s got a dye that is being pumped into her all the time and you can see her brain lit up like a Christmas tree. It’s really high tech and she got hooked up to that today.

The EXCELLENT NEWS is her blood tests show massive reduction in her cancer cells and she is doing really really well on that side. The brat still isn’t awake. She is responding to certain things that are being shared verbally by squeezing (our) hands.

She is doing so well…we just need her wake up. We have speculated that she may be dreaming of her favorite celebrity, Brooke Shields, and therefore not quite ready to wake.

Hayley has been reading her all the blog comments. The nurses have embraced Hayley which is good and she will be with J round the clock beginning Sunday.

Keep sending your messages and love. We will continue to keep you posted.

Thanks!

UPDATE: January 22 – QLD/January 21st USA

Hayley has brought us the good news that Janelle is awake. Just few short hours ago Janelle opened her eyes, squeezed the doctors hand with one finger, responded to his voice, then went back to sleep.

Shortly after this happened the neurosurgeon was able to determine the source of the seizures.

(Please pardon my medical ignorance as I fumble through this explanation.)

A brain angiogram revealed she has a spastic artery, a vasospasm. This is when the artery in her brain where the aneurysms were is contracting and stopping blood flow, thus causing the seizure.

The resolve is to thin out her blood, raise her blood pressure and blood volume so it flows easier through her arteries. If this does not help in the next 24 hours they will put a balloon in her artery to widen it.

She is wide awake now!!! Her eyes are open and she is holding the hand of her mom & sister. She is not yet speaking. The doctors are performing testing to determine if there is any brain damage (editors note: NO CHANCE IN HELL – J is too strong for that!).

Hayley is able to visit at 5 pm QLD time. At which time, I am sure she will keep us all posted.

As Hayley has said, we both believe that the power of positive thoughts and love have reached J. We can not thank you enough for showing your support and love. You have no idea what this will mean to J when she reads all your comments.

More good news, Lexie the spunky Spoodle is BACK! Almost at the same time Hayley was being updated on J, Lexie came from the room and has now eaten three bowls of food and water. Buffy the cat has also been found dramatically hiding under the bed. Those 3 are so connected it’s amazing.

Hayley has made arrangements with the post office so she can pick up mail for J. If you would like the address please send a DM to Hayley or me on twitter @labodydesign/@origazgirl or leave a comment here with your email address. Only cards & letters, no packages please. Remember it has to fit in the box! HA~!

Like so many others, Hayley and I have breathed a huge sigh of relief yet we know J has a lot of work to do before she is 100%. Keep sending her positive thoughts, love, and energy!

It’s a good day!

(WE LOVE YOU J!!!)

Update January 21, 8.00pm (AUS time)/January 21, 1 am (posted by Hayley on J’s blog):

It’s been a LONG day. I was allowed only 2 x 15 minute visits with J. She was (and remains) in a coma. I spent a painfully long day in the wait room staring through the glass doors into the ICU ward. I did have a nice stranger buy me a meat pie and chocolate milk (J the vegan would be so proud)!

The doctors wanted to take her off ventilation to see if she would breathe on her own because even though the ventilator supplies oxygen, the longer she is on it the higher risk of brain damage (or worse).

The first attempt they tried 6 times with different amounts of time but she didn’t respond at all. They tried again about an hour later and on the second attempt her heart stopped for 39 seconds. Tammy and I didn’t share this yesterday but when she seized then her heart also stopped for 1.39 minutes before she was resuscitated. That was when her lungs gave out and why we were so messy.

She has “died” twice in 2 days now and if she tries it for a 3rd time her sister, Tammy and I have all agreed when the doctors bring her back we will kill her ourselves!

They got her heart rhythm back and stabilized and then she coughed involutarily and began to breathe. She is no longer ventilated but on oxygen still. Her chest films are clear and the doctors still don’t know why her lungs stopped. Her body is responding but involuntarily with reflexes and her EEG is constantly changing.

She remains CRITICAL. As long as she stays in this damn coma the risk of brain damage (or worse) is still very high.

Until she opens her eyes and consciously responds she is not out of the woods and there is no way to know if she will have any brain damage.

PLEASE DON’T STOP SENDING YOUR LOVE. Tammy and I are positive it was everyone’s thoughts that brought her back to us today.

I left her this evening with her iPod stuck in her ears playing messages of love that Tammy and her son recorded and a big mix of her favorite tunes on repeat.

More news as we have it. We are back to waiting.

I need to find her cat now who seems to be missing. Just what I need!!

UPDATE: January 21, 5.00pm QLD time/1/20 – Noon US

Our girl was stubborn. She refused to breathe the first time around. The second time around she took 3 breathes then her heart stopped. The docs gave it one more go and she started breathing & her heart rate is stable. She is still unconscious but breathing on her own is huge!!!! Thank you to everyone for putting J in their thoughts. Also a BIG thank you to Hayley for being so good at keeping me up to date & sane!!! Keeping sending love, strength, prayer, and energy — J still needs our good vibes.

UPDATE: (Hayley posted this on J’s site last night) January 21, 2.00pm AUS time/1/20 – 9 pm US

Hayley is at the hospital and has been able to play her iPod mix for J. J is blinking at the eye test,  has good flow to the brain, and body responds to reflex. The docs are uncertain as to why she is still in a coma. At 2 pm they are taking J off the ventilator. To avoid risk of brain damage or her lungs giving out she needs to breathe on her own. She needs to get more oxygen to her brain.  POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND LOVE NEEDED NOW!!

UPDATE: (Hayley posted this on J’s site last night) January 20, 8.00pm

Operation Smuggle Spoodle was thwarted by a bitch nurse and didn’t happen.

I went direct to the hospital & spent 15minutes with J. ICU are really strict on family only & I was kicked out when they realized I’m not her sister (I think kissing her gave it away). I am at J’s house now and will go back early tomorrow. I don’t care how many times I get kicked out I’ll keep going back. I told her everyone is thinking of her and waiting for her to get better.

She is still unresponsive, on a ventilator and critical in ICU bed #1. Also a message from her family = no flowers or anything are allowed in ICU so please don’t send them. Her family have already had to give some away and they find that difficult.

I’m absolutely shattered & finding it really hard tonight so going to rest now. Keep checking with Tammy and I for updates. Whoever has the chance to will. Please give both of us your patience as this is very difficult for us both.

Keep J in your thoughts. It’s a very difficult battle she has right now.

Thank you from Tammy and I, and I know J would be saying thank you too.
~Hayley

UPDATE: 1/19/2010 US date (1/20/2010 AUS date): Janelle has had another seizure. She is not responsive and is intubated. This is a critical time prayers, love, and positive thoughts is what she needs! Her friend Clare is taking her beloved dog Lexie to the hospital to be with her.

UPDATE: 1/19/2010 US date (1/20/2010 AUS date): Janelle has responded to pain sensors by movement and opening her eyes approximately 30 minutes ago. She is only responding to pain no verbal communication and immediately back to sleep but it is a positive sign.

UPDATE: 1/19/2010 US date (1/20/2010 AUS date):

They undertook more tests overnight and there has been no further bleeding. The aneurysms have clotted (good outcome) but she is unresponsive to verbal or physical stimuli and in a coma.

She is still listed as critical with no indication of when she may wake. It remains only family allowed with her and her mother and sister are by her. Hayley will arrive late afternoon on Thursday (AUS time).

I got further clarification on the procedure she had to avoid any confusion. Forty minutes were spent undertaking detailed testing. Followed by a 1 hour 50 minute procedure. They did not cut into her brain but rather a vascular procedure where they inserted a coil through an artery in her leg up into her brain into the main aneurysm which was 10.2mm (very large) to clot it and prevent rupture.

There were 3 other smaller aneurysms between 1-3mm discovered and they inserted balloons to clot the aneurysms. They confirmed there was no bleeding into her spinal column.

UPDATE: J did not have a mini stroke it was a brain aneurysm. She is in critical condition and needs LOTS of prayers & positive thoughts!

A lonely seed planted in the soil

Desperately soaking in the water surrounding its space

Season after season the seed lies dormant

Finally the day has come when a fragile stem peeks through the ground

Day after day the sprout flourishes into a beautiful flower

The petals clamped tight around the core

Gently nourished by the love of the sun

The petals begin to fall away

The beauty of love at the center of it all

The courage now to give back what it has been given

(I am re-posting this story from A Kick to the Neck ‘cuz it’s about my kid & its cute!)

There is a little boy who is very special to me. His laughter. His smiles. His funny actions. His crazy behavior. His graciousness. His adoration for his mother. His maturity beyond his years. His sensibility. His view of the world.

It’s been said that children are the best guide. They don’t know how to lie. They say what they feel. They say what they see. They have a wondrously pure view of the world.

Yesterday when no answer could be found to a lingering question, there was only one option. Call upon the wisdom of youth.

Naturally, a mature topic needed to be modified for the ears and understanding of someone so young.

This morning the following scenario was put to him after he woke:

Imagine you had a favourite swing in the park that you love. There’s no other swing like it in any other parks and it’s the only one you want to play on. But there is a problem. The swing is partly broken and every time you play on it now it pinches your butt.

What would you do? Would you:

A) Stand loudly in the middle of the park screaming loudly until someone heard you and tell everyone how much the swing was hurting your butt, hoping they could fix it or offer you something to stop your butt hurting,

B) Cry to your mum because she loves you and is the only person who makes you feel better, or

C) Keep swinging despite the pinching and pain it causes your butt.

He responded in his shy manner, “I pick the last one.” His mum asked again to be sure, “So you would live with the pain because you love to swing so much?” He said, “Yes.”

After a little while letting the scenario marinate he said, “Well actually I know what I would do that is better than these options. I would just scoot my butt over so the part that was pinching me couldn’t touch me anymore.”

A logical answer two mature women could not come up with.

Next time you have a problem you can’t answer, take A Moment in Time and ask my friend to get the answer from the wisest young sage I know. Her son.

September 16, 2009, ten months after I found an outlet to express my inner most feelings to the world, something I have always struggled with, an unfamiliar email landed in my inbox.

Paragraph after paragraph this person I had never met before was sharing her life’s story. Her laid back tone made it clear that the intimate stories she was writing was not to shine a spotlight on herself.

Her stories rapidly covered a variety of topics including her recent diagnoses of Melanoma Cancer which would cause her to be a given only a year to live.  Her mention of this fact and the other facts she was presenting was delivered in the same manner that you would tell your best friend about a recent date as if she was sitting across from you. There was no more emphasis given to one topic than the other.

It was blatantly obvious her stories were not an attempt to gain sympathy, encouragement or even a laugh. Her stories had a point. The point was not about her it was about me. The words she was laying down in that email was her reaching out to me with advice, her attempting to help me.

This was the last sentence of that email…

“I don’t know why I felt I had to email you and share all this. It is just one of those feelings.”

How lucky I am that she had that feeling. Her friendship has been inspiring, supportive, and will no doubt last a lifetime.

She has listened to me ramble on and on about the Lobster offering words of experience and sometimes giving me the slap across the head I needed to accept reality. She presented me with my lesbian club card giving me advice, opening my eyes to what I have to offer, giving me the all important tips for identifying members of “the club”, but mostly she has been someone I can trust. In just a few short months we have laughed, we have cried, we have even yelled.

I have only three friends that I am comfortable enough to call at any given moment to release the insanity in my head. I am grateful to say that she is one of those people. She is one of the true soul mates that I have found in this lifetime that I will forever cherish.

I am happy to tell you that not only has she lived passed the one year death sentence she was given but she is kicking cancers ass in a very big way!

Take moment to share in her laughter, her tears, her frustrations, and her overall unique vision of the world and let her tell you how it all began with A Kick to the Neck.