A once whole vibrant being infused with light and love.

Inevitably sucked dry of emotions able to be received or given.

Broken and shattered it is you I will forever be waiting.

“What do you get when you invite two very out lesbians, one semi out lesbian, a meth addict, a few rednecks, and an uptight food snob that does not eat turkey to Thanksgiving dinner?”

I wasn’t planning to write a post about the holidays because my blogger friend Cyndi wrote this post and this post which pretty much summed up the good, bad, and ugly about holiday family gatherings. However, as the days shed away leading up to the first of several awkward holiday moments, I just could not resist sharing my own little piece of holiday chaos.  

Where to begin?

Let’s start with a divorce. Last year my mother and step father divorced after 22 years of marriage. The divorce is less traumatic to me then the holiday “what do we do” aftermath. Last year the holidays were awkward but we still spent them all together.  This year will be different because my step father now has a lady friend (who was apparently around last year but got stuffed in the closet during these events).  

Stepdad will not be at Thanksgiving dinner this year (due to said lady friend) however he has invited me, my brother, and of course my sister to his house (aka – what used to be his & my mom’s house) for an open-house style get together the Saturday after. My brother & I decided quickly we would not be attending this event. Other than to say it would just be weird & uncomfortable I did not really know why I did not want to attend.

That is until last night. I was driving home from sifting through 22 years of holiday decorations that my mom & stepdad were splitting up when it came to me. The reason I will not attend the open house event is because it is being hosted by him and his lady friend in my moms’ house. The house that we all spent many happy holidays together as a family. I will not pretend to be nice to some lady that is playing house in my moms’ kitchen. Perhaps lady friend is nice, perhaps I would like her, unfortunately for her she is in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I have never met this woman. I am surely not going to meet her standing in my mothers’ kitchen while she is offering me a finger sandwich.

My brother and sister-in-law will host Thanksgiving for their second year. They have taken over the holiday making it a fun relaxed time (not that it wasn’t fun before…you know what I mean – right?). 

My mom and dad (aka Daddy) divorced when I was very young. My brother & I always spent the holidays with my mom. When my dad remarried he accumulated another child brought into the relationship by his wife. Dad spent the holidays, however that he would, I am not really sure how, then allocate an hour or two for dinner and gift giving before or after Christmas with my brother & me. This is just the way it has always been.

I should mention at this point that holiday meals at my dad’s house typically consist of at least two or three foreign food items (enter food snob stage right). I am adventurous so I don’t mind it so much; however it makes it difficult to feed two young mouths plus my sister-in-law does not enjoy unidentifiable foods. The gatherings are so formal & uptight which is also not our style. With family you should feel relaxed that is just simply not the case due to said food snob who is also a snob in general.

In recent years, it seems my dad has begun feeling guilty for his absence during our youth. Last year during our holiday get together; somewhere between his 3^rd Rum & Coke and 2^nd glass of wine, he proclaimed he would like to spend Thanksgiving with the boys (aka – my son & nephew). My brother & I shook our heads knowing full well that would not happen.

A couple of weeks ago while my father was in Mongolia his wife (who works in the office with us) popped in to my office asking what she should bring to Thanksgiving Dinner. HUH?  (Side note: Dad’s wife, aka food snob, was planning to spend the holiday with her daughter who is living in Germany as to side step to having to join my father in honoring his commitment. Her plan was derailed, now she is stuck, although a sudden illness would not shock me.)

Moving on, I asked if they had let my brother know that they would be attending since he would need to prepare the proper amount of turkey. She responded by saying that my dad had mentioned it sometime ago. Ok, remember Rum & Coke and wine that was a year ago.

I launched in to a short dissertation about the menu and how the days events would unfold. I made sure she was clear that our Thanksgiving dinner is very traditional; turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, yams, etc. As I was talking, I could see the horror in her eyes. You see, my dad’s wife is well for lack of a better word a food snob. She does not eat meat (especially deep fried like my brother will prepare it and let me tell you if you have not had deep fried turkey get on it…YUMMY!) or any of the other traditional Thanksgiving menu items.

Another fun element that will be thrown in to the mix this year is my sister will be bringing her girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, I said girlfriend – like the kind you sleep with girlfriend. I have not mentioned this tid bit until this post because her story is not mine to tell. I will simply tell you that she came out shortly after I did. She did not so much come out as she just started living her life openly. I began picking up on the cues early on but again I was so lost in my own identity it was a bit of a surprise she did not mention it when I came out. Her announcement that she wanted to bring her girlfriend to Thanksgiving is what pushed me to tell my brother.  ANYWAY!

Here is where it gets interesting. I have not told my father or his wife about my sister. Quite frankly we don’t have that type of relationship that I need to run to them to tell such news. So, my sister and her girlfriend, who are VERY out, will be at dinner. This is sure to raise questions from my father & his wife. I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY! This could be the point where they open mouth & insert foot! Keep in mind my dad has not been told my coming out story.

Finally, to top off the guest list, my mother springs it on us that she would like to invite her nearly homeless meth addict sister who none of us have seen in the last 15 years. Yep, Thanksgiving dinner seems like a more than appropriate place to welcome her back in to the family fold!

My brother, being the laid back easy-going guy that he is says “The more the merrier, I will just be sure to have my video camera rolling”. HA!

So, I ask you….What do you get when you invite two very out lesbians, one semi out lesbian, a meth addict, a few rednecks, and an uptight food snob that does not eat turkey to Thanksgiving dinner?

I don’t know but I am sure you will hear all about it next week!

Cheers!

**WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS HARSH LANGUAGE. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE WORD FUCK, FUCKING, OR MOTHER FUCKER I SUGGEST YOU TURN AWAY NOW**

I AM FUCKING FURIOUS!!!

And here is why….

My political views are like a swirl ice cream cone from McDonalds, the perfect blend of chocolate and vanilla keeping the taste buds excited and on my toes. I have no more love for chocolate than I do the vanilla. The same goes for my politics; I happily blend my conservative views with my more liberal views keeping an open mind to hear both sides of the story.

This morning, like most of my morning commutes to the office, I was listening to my favorite talk radio station. I enjoy this station because in the morning I listen to more conservative view points then in the afternoon I hear dialog of the more liberal sort.

I occasionally disagree with the commentators on either end off the spectrum, usually just throwing out a “well that is just fucking stupid” to myself in the privacy of my own car.

This morning, the conservative talk show host began his show by throwing out teasers using the word lesbian and lesbian orgies. I knew he was going to say something to get me all fired up.

He launched in to a 5 minute dissertation about an article he had read regarding a research study conducted at a rather liberal university. The study proclaimed to have proved that lesbian couples make better parents than hetro couples.

Clearly this is not true. There are SOME lesbians couples that make better parents and there are SOME hetro couples that make better parents. To state it as a proven fact that one over the other is better is laughable. The success of a family is clearly dependent on the dedication and involvement of the parties regardless of whether it is a same sex relationship or not. I know plenty of hetro couples that are failing as parents. I unfortunately do not know many lesbians (I am working on it peeps, I SWEAR!) but I am sure the same could be said.

The kicker to the story is a statement the commentator had the audacity to mutter from his lips. During his five minute rant he said that lesbian couples get all excited about standing before their loved ones in a commitment ceremony (yes, MOTHER FUCKER because FUCKERS like you do not believe we should have the same rights to marriage as hetro couples), then giddily swirl our tongues together (yes, he really did say that – and if he really wants to know where my tongue swirls…well…) then run out and adopt children. He went on to say that once lesbians no longer want to be in the relationship a divorce occurs (ok FUCKER a divorce can not occur because we can not be married).

And here it is the statement that sent me over the edge…. “then once the divorce occurs the child is no longer wanted.”…WAIT…WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY? “Now that the lesbian couple no longer wants to be together the child goes unwanted.” SERIOUSLY? He just said that!

Let’s break this down shall we….according to Mr. Commentator, if a lesbian couple adopts a child then splits up the child they adopted is no longer wanted or loved.

I am sorry but are same sex couples the only couples that have issues and decided to no longer be in a committed relationship? And, of course because same sex couples may adopt they really don’t love the child the child is just a trophy.

I must be the worst parent alive because I am a single lesbian raising a boy.

THIS FUCKER REALLY MADE ME FURIOUS!!!!

When people like this exude such ignorance it shows me just how far we have to go.

I started this post a few weeks ago, somehow I thought I could squeeze in a few updates during my busy week, but that clearly did not happen.

This is the second installment of “Thought Stew”. It is an opportunity to give you an update on topics which it may appear I have abandoned. I will also fill you in on some new stuff that you may or may not give two hoots about. This is also a good opportunity for you to ask follow up questions on any of my posts – read back peeps here is your chance.

MY BIRTHDAY: Evidently when you wallow in a bowl of self pity one year threatening the life of anyone who attempts to make mention of your birthday, the next year they forget it all together. Ok, so my family did pull out a dinner and, yes mom, it was filled with love.  Happy hour was a bust. Since when do any of my friends not want to drink? The evening was not a complete disaster – some friends of mine invited me and my son for dinner. It’s all good.

WEIGHT LOSS CONTEST: The contest ended on October 31^st. The personal training studio that hosted the contest celebrated their 1 year anniversary on the following weekend. They held an open house where all their clients joined in the celebration with exercise challenges, visiting, and of course announcing the winning team. I lost a total of 19.2 pounds, my mom lost 20, and my friend lost 13. I am excited to report we won the 3^rd place price. We were not far off from the 2^nd & 1^st place winners. This past week was crazy busy so, I did not workout even once. This week I am back on track. I still have a lot of weigh to loss, not only to be healthy but also to be satisfied with myself. 

A huge shout out to my brother who lost 25 pounds during the contest and is still going strong! His dedication is amazing. He looks great, he feels great, I am very proud of him.

MY DATE: For some reason I feel like I gave an update on this already but clearly I have not. Basically, the date has not happened and I have not heard from the girl. We tried to set something up, her dog had to have some cancerous tumors removed,  then it was Halloween, and then my birthday. Clearly the connection was not strong enough otherwise we would have made it work. No date, still single, but if you read my last blog post you will know that a special person has given me my confidence back. WATCH OUT!!!!

DADDY DRAMA: First of all, I must say, I hope that you all pick up on the sarcasm with my use of “daddy”. Anyhow, last week he was in Mongolia for a consulting job.  In his absence, I assisted with our mortgage school. Currently we are offering the new loan officer licensing class that is now required in Arizona. Can you believe the person that cuts your hair has to have license but until July 1, 2010 the person that handles your finances does not. I digress, so last week I helped facilitate the class (plus I did have to have my butt in the chair for the required hours as well). If you recall this is the class that my father passed me up on as an instructor pissing me off to no end. With no hesitation AT ALL I can tell you this was the worst class EVER! The instructors he held more regard for than his own daughter were HORRIBLE. They did not know the material (deferring to me on several topics) basically reading from the slides. I was left to do the clean up work with the students taking the complaints one after the other. My father sent all the instructors an email about the classes for January & February as he will be in South Africa on another project and need coverage for the sessions he typically teaches. I replied immediately with the following message:

“Once I pass the test (this month) and audit one of your AZ Law classes, I would like to kick off the January & February sessions teaching the AZ Law class and possibly leading the test prep. I know the material. I am an excellent public speaker. Once I pass the exam I can offer my knowledge from that experience as well.” 

He responded with FANTASTIC!

The moral of the story is, once I stood up to my father exerting self confidence he respected me.

It was a good day.

WHAT ELSE: Are there any other topics which I have left hanging? You tell me.

Cheers!

It may seem as though I abandoned my blog lately. I have learned that my writing is more challenging when I am not stewing, hurting, or lost in my own thoughts.

A funny thing has occurred. A flash of happiness has made its way to my life. A type of happiness I did not think I could have again after my last relationship. A special person has waltzed in to my life unexpectedly filling me with  a sense of renewal that has flushed through my heart and soul.

Today I woke up to the possibility that I would have to say goodbye to this incredible person. That possibility left me in a very dark place. You see I was being tested. Not by this person but by my own inner being.  With much thought and consideration I was able to discover a dissolve was not the answer.  The answer was to allow myself to feel and trust, not only myself but her as well.

I had all but given up on the idea of finding love again convincing myself there could not possibly be another person for me after this one.  It was just about then, my muse came in with guns blazing shooting down my negative thoughts and low self-esteem. Her unbiased opinions, experiences, ability to make me feel what I thought could not be felt again, and patience with my stupid questions has rejuvenated hope and healed my heart.

Connections made between people are unexplainable. Why this one and not that one. Why so quickly with some while others never quite bridge the gap. There are so many reasons.  Today I realized that my connection with an unlikely muse has given me the extra nudge I needed to accept & forgive myself for past mistakes. Today I realized that I have not given thought to the hurt I was feeling from my past relationship in a long time. I will always remember, it will always be a part of me, but finally it does not consume me. It just “is” without being my everything.

This post will be cryptic to most leaving you frustrated to know more. I can do nothing at this point but apologize. 

Let me tell a wonderful beautiful connection has been made that I will cherish for a very long time.

Cheers!

(With a coke no Rum – at least not for now – wink wink to my muse!)

I was so disappointed to miss the 12 of 12 last month. My son was on Fall Break and it was the first time I would actually be doing something fun on the 12th during the week. Unfortunately, I walked out of the house leaving the camera behind. I attempted to capture some moments using my Blackberry but the quality was so bad I could not subject my readers to that!

This month is BORING. No theme, no activity, and most of my day was spent in a training room.

8:30 am – Breakfast on the run – Starbucks Strawberry Banana Smoothie – less than 300 calories and keeps me full until lunch.

8:40 am – Five days of mandatory education this week. Three days down, two more to go, much more coffee is needed!

9:00 am – When I arrived at my office this morning I noticed my parking spot has been tagged “ZERO”. Well, let me tell you…NOBODY – I MEAN NOBODY calls me a ZERO! My self-esteem goes unaffected THANK YOU!

9:15 am – This is the short stack of priority work I MUST finish in my 2 hour window before I have to head to my class for the day.

11:00 am – This YAYHOO sped past me at about 85 miles per hour. When I looked over at him he was looking down texting. I decided to take a picture. Yes, we are both poster children for Driving Safely!

11:15 am – The training facility is located on Reservation land. This sculpture is located at the entrance of the office complex. Something unique for my friends in far away places.

11:25 am – This my friends is where I will spend the remainder of my day in a 4 hour Truth In Lending class. YAWN!

11:30 am – The training room is in a loft type area up two flights of stairs. This message is painted on the wall at the halfway point. I liked it.

11:40 am – The view from the training room. How bad do I want to be on the top of that mountain? BAD!

11:45 am – Now that the room is set and Power Point presentation is ready to go I can sit down for a quick bite to eat before the students arrive. This week has been a killer having to stop for fast food most of the week. I am trying to keep it healthy.

4:30 pm – Driving home several accidents on the freeway had me at a stand still. This is the air freshener  I keep in my truck. My two favorite things…flip flops & BLING! (Objects in this picture are smaller than they appear ;o) )

6:15 pm – Met my family for dinner. I thought this was a cool picture since yesterday was Veterans Day here in the USA!

The rest of the evening was relatively uneventful. Read my favorite blogs, chatted with a friend, and sipped on my Oh My Chai tea!

See you next month!

Chad Darnell is the brains behind the 12 of 12. Check out Chad’s blog to see more than 50 other participant submissions from around the world!

Cheers!

Today is my birthday.  I have been trying to brainstorm a fabulous blog post to celebrate this day. Nothing really came to me, so instead, I decided to give you 36 interesting Tammy birthday facts. I use the word interesting losely. Enjoy.

1. Today is my 36^th birthday, not one of my local friends has contacted me about my invitation for happy hour on Friday. I think I will be drinking alone.
2. When I was 13, I invited my friends over to celebrate my birthday – nobody showed up. I was devastated.
3. For my 18^th birthday, my parents sent me bungee jumping.
4. For 21^st birthday, my parents sent me skydiving.
5. I have a friend that will not attend my birthday celebrations because she doesn’t like one of my other friends.
6. If someone would have bought me chapstick for my 9^th birthday maybe I would not have had a permanent ring around my mouth until I was 11.
7. On my 16^th birthday my mom threw me a surprise party. It wasn’t a surprise but I never told her I knew.
8. I spent my 21^st birthday dancing in the rain in the middle of the street in Prescott, Arizona with a man I had just met. All in good fun people – completely innocent.
9. For my 5^th birthday my aunt dressed up like a clown. I don’t remember it but I have seen pictures.
10. My 35^th birthday was emotionally difficult. I requested that it not be celebrated or acknowledged by anyone. Most people ignored my request.
11. It makes me uncomfortable when people want to watch me open birthday gifts.
12. My favorite birthday dessert is Baskin Robbins chocolate chip ice cream cake.
13. After 36 birthdays it seems like this list should be easier to create.
14. I have a feeling alcohol is to blame for why I can’t remember most of my adult birthdays.
15. I have yet to figure out the reason why I don’t remember my childhood birthdays (or many other moments from my childhood).
16. I hope one day I will meet the love of my life and she will plan a romantic get-a-way at an Oceanside location where we only the leave the room to watch the sunset.
17. It was difficult to explain why I received red roses on my birthday when I was having a secret affair.
18. Birthdays usually involve dinner with my family. My family has not mentioned anything about my birthday this year.
19. I would prefer that my co-workers and I not exchange birthday (or holiday) gifts. We all know it’s obligatory.
20. I was pregnant on my 28^th birthday.
21. On my 26^th birthday, a man I had never met before sang karaoke to me while I sat on a stool in front of everyone in the bar. It was embarrassing but I was too drunk to care.
22. I was excited to receive a postcard in the mail from Starbucks for a free coffee. Then I remembered coffee is only $1.50 – oh well, I am still excited.
23. On my 33^rd birthday, I walked 21 miles on day 3 of  the Arizona 3 day Breast Cancer Walk. My family showed up with signs that said “Happy Birthday – We Love You”.
24. On my 34^th birthday, I walked 20 miles on day 2 of the Arizona 3 Day Breast Cancer Walk. My friends sang happy b-day to me for most of the 20 miles.
25. I am glad my birthday is in November, I can’t imagine being any other sign but a Scorpio. It suits me to a tee.
26. I hope to have my life figured out by the time I reach my 40^th birthday.
27. The most thoughtful birthday gift/acknowledgement I have received has come from my most selfish friend.
28. For my 35^th birthday, I treated myself and three friends to the Kathy Griffin concert. After our sushi dinner our limo driver drove us to the concert in a pimped out Escalade.
29. Before I started working with my father, I only saw him on my birthday and holidays.
30. Birthday celebrations make me nervous. I am always afraid no one will show up. See #2 & #1.
31. Facebook is like #30 multiplied by 100. What if no one wishes me a happy birthday – then I look like an ass. See #2 & #1.
32. On my 32^nd birthday, my mom gave $150 worth of gift certificates. I lost them all before I left the restaurant. She bought me another $150 worth of gift certificates. I felt horrible. I thought she was generous.
33. On one of my birthdays, I have no idea which one, my brother introduced me to the Kamikaze- best drink ever!!! I like to drink it tall over ice.
34. My dad just sent me an email from Mongolia wishing me a happy birthday. Sweet.
35. I have never gone to Denny’s for a free breakfast on my birthday.
36. Last night before I went to sleep I sent my birthday wish out to the universe. This morning I woke up disappointed to not find Jillian Michaels wrapped in a big red ribbon lying next to me. Maybe next year!

Cheers! (that is me drinking alone in the dark corner of that dive bar ) )

It could have been any evening, in the kitchen preparing the evenings meal chatting on the phone catching up with a friend. Spongebob in the background, I had no idea innocent ears were listening and silent eyes were watching. My enthusiasm must have caught his attention yet even after the call was finished I still had no idea I was being studied.  

It was not until nearly an hour later that I saw his little arm pump the air and with a whisper in his voice, almost as if he thought his words were not leaving his lips….

 “Yes! I am going to have a papa and a brother”.

 Taken completely off guard I stopped whatever menial thing it was I was doing. I asked him to repeat what he had said even though I heard his words perfectly clear the first time around.

I probed to know to more recognizing the error I had made.

 “You are going on a date which means I will have a dad and a brother soon”.

The conversation that follows confirms he is aware of the type of relationships which I desire. This is the same conversation we have had on several occasions. Although he is aware I am not sure he fully understands.

I did not realize the depth his words had penetrated until this evening when I felt the net slung around my heart squeezing every ounce of guilt through my body until it became nothing but tears that rolled from my eyes.

As a mother it is my responsibility to do what is necessary for the safety and happiness of my child. The only way to give him what he needs so badly is to deny myself of who I am.

He is a happy boy, there is no doubt. But I wonder when he rests his chin on the car door gazing out the window in silence with the wind blowing through his hair what thoughts are swirling around in his mind.

I have seen the damage caused by the absence of a father in a young’s boys’ life. I want to protect him from the pain. I want to be everything that he needs but I know that I can not.

My strength is being tested by the weight of a mothers’ guilt.

Reading my favorite blogs today, like this one and this one, I started thinking about some of my favorite Halloween costumes. 

There were some really great ones that am disappointed to say went undocumented, at least by me anyway. Like the time I and a male friend dressed as Marge & Homer Simpson. I had blue hair that tried its’ best to stand straight up in the air but just couldn’t so it kept leaning slightly to the left. Or, the time I dressed as Monica Lewinsky, complete with the bob haircut, beret, low-cut shirt, black coat with traces of a creamy substance, and 12 inches cigars which every male at the party received.

Luckily some of my other favorites were captured on film. Like this one from when I was in the 5th grade. My mom has forever kept this photo waiting for the moment to show it to potential suitors or anyone that cares. I am officially taking away her source of blackmail publishing this photo for the first time ever.

Wonder Woman! MOVE OVER LYNDA CARTER!

(Clearly I had a little help from Charmin in the next pic)

And, this one from my early 20’s. My friend and I had a party at her house. We did not want our friends to drink and drive so we decided our costume would be to dress as drunk driving victims. Oddly enough my date was a vampire.  Poor Bobbert (a pet name that stuck) never had a chance. I was so deep in the closet I thought he might be the one I would marry one day. The only live-in relationship I have ever had dissolved six months after he moved in. The relationship went to hell in a hand basket. I wish I could tell him it was not his fault. This is one time I can honestly say “It wasn’t you, it was me”! He was one of the kindest more caring people I have ever met in my entire life. He would have done anything for me. I hope he has found happiness and true love.

Anyway, the picture is a little dark (it seems to be the only one in existence as well) but if you look closely you can see pieces of glass in my arm, the side of face not facing the camera has a huge gash with blood, and my chest had a huge piece of glass protruding out. We both wore white shirts with writing on the back in blood-red that said “Friends Don’t Let” …. “Friends Drive Drunk”. Our friends were blown away. Later in the evening, when we were already three sheets to the wind,  my mom came to the party to see the costumes. She ended up taking us to the grocery store to get more beer where we snuck up on unsuspecting partons asking for their help. It was hilarious!

My new favorite is from this Halloween. Jack has been pestering me for days about what I am going to be for Halloween. As we were walking out of the house to go to his schools Monster Mash, I grabbed an old accessory from his money man costume last year.  He dressed as a pirate and I was his pirate’s treasure. Hey, I thought it was pretty clever for on the fly. Jack loved it! 

 

Cheers!

I hope all the mothers of the world will have understanding of this little story rather than condemn me on this one, but every once in a while we just have one of those days. The days where we wake up late, rush to get out of the house in an effort to get the kid(s) to school on time, only to be faced with every possible speed bump.

Monday morning was just that for Jack and I. Exhausted from a busy weekend I just couldn’t pull myself out of bed. I waited until the last possible moment hitting the snooze button every 7 minutes. Once I did drag myself in to the shower the pace never slowed down. I am not a morning person so my routine is tight anyway, but this morning I sleep away an additional ten minutes. Every minute counted.

Shower, breakfast for Jack, make-up, layout clothes for Jack, iron my clothes, do my hair – peeking my head out every two minutes telling Jack to get dressed, collect back-pack making sure I have signed his agenda & reading homework, gather lunches, laptop, cell phone, make breakfast smoothie, try to remember if it is P.E. day so Jack wears the correct shoes, comb Jacks hair, rush Jack in to the car, deliver Jack to school.

(If you are thinking to yourself that there are some of these tasks which could be done the night before to save myself some time, you would be correct. However, the day before this particular morning we spent the day/evening at the state fair leaving my Sunday afternoon tasks for the evening and a full plate Monday morning).

This particular Monday was chaos. Chaos creates an edgy impatient mother. Running late we hustle out to the car, Jack with no shoes on because he thinks he left his flip-flops in the car (not uncommon), garage door goes up, car starts backing out, Jack declares his shoes are not in the car. T-minus 5 minutes until the school bell rings. I urgently demand that Jack double time it in to the house to find his shoes. It is taking way to long, car engines turns off, I rush in agitated, Jack is teary eyed & apologetic, we both scurry around the house seeking shoes, can’t find flip-flops (prefered form of footware) we grab tennis shoes which means finding socks, untie shoes, getting on to feet and tieing. Rush out to car, trying not to speed to school, get stopped at a red light, SLOWWW through the cross walk, Jack’s mood is somber, I am apologizing profusely, Jack is sad. Pull into parent drop off, apologies & I love you’s, Jack RUNS to class, I drive away feeling horrible.

At the office all I can think about is how Jack’s day is going. I hope he was able to shake off our bumpy start and move forward to have a great day. I can’t stop thinking about it so I email the attendance clerk, whom I know personally, I explain to her what happened and ask her to slip a note to Jack during his lunch.

If you think I was insensitive addressing the note “Hey Bub”, you should know this is an endearing term Jack & I use for each other. He often addresses his daily agenda notes/reminders to me as ‘Hey Bub’.  It’s silly but it makes us laugh.

Later that afternoon, Jack strolls up the sidewalk to our house where I am waiting for him. I scoop him up giving him a BIG hug. I ask him if he got my note, he giggles, embarrassingly looks down with a smile-smirk, and says “Yes, I wasn’t expecting it”. His body language and tone tell me he appreciated receiving that little Post-It note as much as I needed to give it.

I love a good Post-It note, they are always there when you need them!

That little note is displayed on our refridgerator door to remind us that a little preplanning and patience will help us be kind to each other on those days.

Cheers!